I'm ready for my life to begin
So far, I've spent my time, life
suspended
between these four walls;
sandwiched
and trapped.

I can't be motivated, to be
grown up
if mommy makes my dinner
and daddy serves dessert;
if dishes are cleaned
by someone who isn't me;
and
if my food is purchased
with money I didn't make.

I need to get out of this House;
this Address;
this home.
Where I've let my life
suspend
between these four walls,
so familiar.
(With the outside so unknown,
it's easy to stay familiar.)

So it's time now, for me to leave;
To dust off that part of me.
That part that is expected to grow;
grow, and remain grown.
And it's time now,
to fight that knotted tightness;
that sickening ache;
that emerges from my belly at the thought
of leaving home.

Oh gosh yay, vacation time! I'm really looking forward to spring days and not having to do anything and staying out all night and waking up late in the morning and not having to work for a whole five days and being able to get some stuff cleaned and some projects finished/started.

And my bedroom herb garden is doing really well.
And I have some really good flower pressings done for my vascular plant biology class.
And I'm finally getting around to cleaning out my closet and all my old clothes.
And I've gotten some really good drawings done for the zine project Lew and I are doing.
And I get paid tomorrow, cash moneys.
And I'm wearing my overalls right now which makes me unspeakably happy.
And I went to the Dollar Tree today and bought:
Hair conditioner, lip balm, and Arizona Iced tea
And my cat is still really ridiculously fat and I have to bathe her soon.
And my little laptop is playing Bob Marley.
And the sun is shinning through my window right this second.
And pretty soon I'm going to hear from this really amazing guy that I am totally in love with who makes me really happy and who is also really attractive and smart.

So, life is really good.

Hows you?

I made chicken noodle soup with dumplings for dinner, still warming on the stove. Big thick egg noodles and big doughy dumplings on top of soft chicken, sweet onions, and celery hearts.
Comfort food, big and thick and warm, and it fills you up like a warm winter day.

Find simple pleasures.

It's crazy how sometimes all it takes it the lingering smell of someone to make you miss them beyond all belief.
I ate tomatoes off the vine and fresh basil today. So wonderful. Mmmm...

God, grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.


I need to pick up a pick of cigarettes, get a job, and go out tonight.
I also need serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and I need courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I hope praying is like whitening your teeth. The more you do it, the better the results...

Some people remind me of stepping in dog shit.
You don't notice it at first, but then the smell gets strong.
And then you keep wiping your shoes in the grass.
Hoping it will go away.
Hoping your loved ones noticed the shit and stepped over it.
Hoping no one else will notice.

(On the plus side, I won a photography contest today. And I didn't even submit what I would consider a valid photo. I won some film and a cable release... And a chocolate covered cherry.)

Here Nicole, here's that hat pattern you were asking about:
aqui

This is the Give-Some-Get-Some Musical Christmas Exchange.

How it works:
I'll post up 25 songs, and then you post a comment with a song of your own. (Or two, or three...)

Dying Man's Wish - Doria Roberts
Cosmia - Joanna Newsom
Heavy In Love - Bitch and Animal
A Phoenix and Doves - Diane Cluck
The One I Love - Rosie Thomas
Sylviana - Diane Cluck
A Rose In April - Kate Rusby
Much Farther To Go - Rosie Thomas
Indian Rope Trick - Flunk
Echo - Kristin Hersh
Twilight - Elliott Smith
Black Eyed Girl - Bitch and Animal
Alice In Lotusland - The Black Watch
As Is - Ani DiFranco
Overkill - Colin Hay
How Can It Be? - Forever Thursday
Blue Eyes - Timmy Curran
Marry Me - St. Vincent
Handy Man - Matt Strief
If You Leave - Nada Surf
Hadlock Padlock - Kimya Dawson
The Microwave Song - SoftLightes
Nostalgia - The Culottes
I Heart Fags - MC Frontalot
Black and Blue - Thirdimension


Special thanks to Nico-wafers and her music-sharing in the past. Also thanks to e-music.com for being awesome. And pandora internet radio for being cool back when I used it.

Let's be friends?
Comment with a picture of anything!